i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
