i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
