Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
True strength comes from lack of pants
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
