you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Randomize
