i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
