Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
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