so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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