I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
