So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Why is your signature on my underwear?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
