We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
