yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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