at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
you inspire me to be a worse person
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
