the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
