I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
