I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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