I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
