VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
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