shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.