Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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