what if I'm pregnant?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice