covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
dude i'm inner monologue high
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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