while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
NoShamevember. You game?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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