Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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