May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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