Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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