this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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