he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
