she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
All I want is dick and wine.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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