YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Randomize
