We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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