It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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