everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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