I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
is this the sara with the beer cane?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
