He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
