HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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