Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
