you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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