I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
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Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
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I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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