I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
we're so committed to being not committed
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize