Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
