My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
