Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
