Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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