This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
