Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
