She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
