She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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