Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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