So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
