tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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