Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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