so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
