It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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