we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
