I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
