Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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