I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Randomize
