My first STD was from a foam party
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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