I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize