I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
