Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
