We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
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frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
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just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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