Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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