my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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