Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
