Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
