i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize