you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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